Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
