im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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