It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
