She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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