You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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