I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
