he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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