Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
