Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
