yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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