Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
I'm going to jail i love you
i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize