i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
