in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
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