Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize