wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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