I hate all girls vehemently.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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