I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Randomize
