I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
She's the barista slut.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
