if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
tell me about the eggs
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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