i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
