i need an iv and a liver transplant
went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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