atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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