the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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