Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
