this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize