dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
