I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
