I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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