There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Randomize
