Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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