Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Randomize
