thus making me awesome and them whores
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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