I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
