Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
