I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
