apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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