1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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