is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
