I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Randomize
