Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
