This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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