i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
