I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
