I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm jealous of your bromance
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
