her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
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