Redeem this text for a blowjob
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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