If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
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