i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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