that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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