im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize
