Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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