also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Randomize
