They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
Can I color on your dick again?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
