yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
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We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
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