nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.