some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar