Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.