I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
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They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
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I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window