I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
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I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
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I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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