you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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