theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
Randomize
