Grow some girl-balls and come out already
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
