I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Randomize