You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
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