I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Randomize
