I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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