I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
